I’ve tried writing this post three other times already. It’s hard to figure out where to begin.. hard to choose the right words so that others can get a glimpse of the beautiful, exhausting, difficult, joyful, and important adventure we just began.
We received our first foster placement. She will be referred to as our little love. We will not be sharing her story from before us.. while it is important and so much of who she is, it’s a story that is only hers to tell. The stories that we will be sharing are the ones that we’re writing together.
Our little love is JOY. They say there is a honeymoon phase with most new placements, and maybe that is the case.. but she is a happy, fun-loving, hilarious little girly girl with an incredible personality for such a young age. We’ve had so much fun as a family of three in the short amount of time we have had together. She loves people, singing, and anything to do with water. She’s been adjusting well.. which is definitely an answered prayer.
People have been INCREDIBLE. From the texts, calls, Facebook comments, messages, etc.. We have felt the love. My mom and sister went out and lost control at Toys R’ Us. We spent the morning at their house being spoiled with toys & lunch while my sisters boyfriend checked & fixed BOTH our cars (because of course our check engine lights came on the same week we get a child). Talk about a blessing, right?! We are blown away (and I know I say this all the time, but for real) by the support and excitement surrounding this little love and our family. From the bottom of our hearts.. We thank you!!
Here are some of the questions I’ve been getting that I can answer:
How are you feeling? The first thought that keeps coming to my head is unworthy. I am already in love with loving this little girl and I don’t feel worthy of it. I struggle the most with guilt.. so while I’ve been given this incredible opportunity to love this little human, I’ve been thinking of everything I’ve done (and do) that makes me unworthy of it. I mean.. I can be a horrible person sometimes. I say horrible things, think horrible things, get angry too quickly, can gossip & complain.. The list can go on and on. The incredible part of this feeling of unworthiness is that God thinks I’m worthy. And God uses us, even though we are sinners, to do some incredible things. And I’m thankful to be a part of that.
How long will you have her? We really have no idea. All we do know is that we are called to love her today and in this moment. I’ve never felt such a sense of urgency.. not knowing how long she will be with us.. It makes it real. We need to make sure this little knows how much she is LOVED! I want her to hear it, feel it, experience it. It is urgent.
How much do you know? This, I think, is in regard to little loves family and history. The truth is.. we don’t know much. But what we do know is this: when we started foster care, we knew that we wanted to be FOR families. We want to see the system work. We want to see healing from brokenness and we want to see reunification if that is Gods will. So regardless of what we know or don’t know, we will be praying for little loves family. We will be writing updates and sending pictures. We will be talking to little love about them in a positive and loving way. This is absolutely necessary if we truly want to see broken families restored.
What’s been your favorite part? Hands down.. watching her with my husband. It’s like I’m falling in love with a completely different side of him. It started when we first started getting placement calls with just little things he would say and ask, but it’s continued to show since we took in this little love. He is such an incredible father. My current favorite sound is both of their laughter together.. I’ll never get sick of it.
Thanks again for being a part of this!