So I have been a slacker. I’m finally updating about Day 3 of training.. the night before Day 4 of training. Day 3 (Sessions 5 and 6) was about attachment and loss. Both subjects were pretty hard to talk and hear about. Attachment is a huge part of foster care – and a lot of children in the system have attachment disorders. We not only talked about the children becoming attached (or struggling to), but also us as foster parents becoming attached. That’s the thing most people say to me about fostering: “I would get way too attached.” And I know everyone means well, but it’s starting to hurt my feelings a little bit. Are you saying you don’t think I will get attached? Let me tell you.. Mike and I plan on getting attached to these children. I am not going to let my fear of being hurt when they leave allow these kids to miss out on an opportunity to be loved and be part of a family. It’s going to hurt to let children go, but think about the hurt they have already been through. I can suck it up if it means helping them heal and working to reunite them with their families. Attachment is inevitable..and it’s something really beautiful.
The session on loss was just as heavy. We did an activity that kind of showed what these kids go through when they are moved from home to home and all that they lose along the way. Whether it’s the loss of a person (parent, siblings) or an item (a special blanket, a teddy bear)..it all affects them. We watched a video that had children narrating about the “Big People” that move them and make all their decisions for them. It broke my heart to hear a different point of view.. the point of view that matters the most. These kids.. no matter the age.. suffer more loss than anyone can imagine. Even if reunification is successful, they have been through things that will affect their lives forever. It was daunting to hear some of the stories of what these children go through and how they handle it. We were given a lot of scenarios showing ways that children act out and rebel against foster parents. I thought I would be scared afterwards..but I wasn’t. There is a desperate need for adults who will be patient, consistent, and won’t give up on these kids. Mike and I won’t be perfect parents by any means, but we will try. And we will love. And we will be a constant in these children’s lives.
Tomorrow’s sessions are about working with families and discipline. I am excited for both of them – and it sounds like they will be very informative.
Some updates on logistics:
- We got Daisy’s dog license! They said it could take up to four weeks and it took like two days. Total blessing because we had no idea pet licenses were a thing.
- We got lots that we need for our house! Fire extinguishers, smoke detectors, etc.
- We will need to have a lead paint test for our home because it’s so old (an oldie but a goodie). We decided against it when we bought the house because there was no chipping paint and the windows were all replaced..but it’s required for foster care. So I will be scheduling that ASAP!
- We were supposed to be assigned a home study worker this week.. And it didn’t happen 😦
- We may need to buy radiator covers for all of our radiators.. And we have like seven. Covers are not cheap. Please pray that we will not have to do this – or that we will only need to cover them in bedrooms. That may be a selfish prayer but it’s a big concern for us right now.
And just because I’m a happy wife.. I have to mention how amazing my husband is. His trust and confidence in the Lord amazes me daily. Whenever I have doubts.. he reassures me. Whenever I have fears.. he comforts me. His faith is inspiring.. nothing that comes up causes him to panic or worry and I know it’s because he truly believes that Gods plan will play out and it’ll be good no matter what. I love him for that.
Thanks for reading!