Ten days later.. and I’m finally making moves to finish the last day of the quote challenge. Needless to say I failed the challenge, but hey, it inspired me to write more. Tomorrow Mike and I start foster care training. And tonight I am feeling all the feels. Here is the poem that I kept crossing my mind..
“There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask “What if I fall?”
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?”
― Erin Hanson
There are a lot of changes that will be happening in my life. In the next few months, I’m most likely going to be a parent. In the next year, I’m most likely starting a new teaching position. These two things have been on the forefront of my mind this week, because of an opportunity that was presented at work, and because training starts up tomorrow. And my mind has been playing the what if game lately:
What if my children don’t like me?
What if I can’t handle the behaviors they may have?
What if they don’t feel loved by me?
What if I can’t give them all they need?
What if I’m making the wrong decision?
What if I don’t succeed with a new position?
What if my new teammates don’t like me?
What if I can’t start from scratch again?
Basically.. what if I fall?
By letting myself feel these thoughts, spend time thinking of these fears, and buying into the negativity that surrounds it.. I’ve already decided that I’m going to fail. And that’s not okay. Today I’ve felt inspired, encouraged, and positive. And I am choosing to reject the negative thoughts and emotions that come with both (and any more) of the changes that are going to happen in my life.
Yes, I might fail. In fact, I know I will at times. But.. I’m choosing to think of new what ifs tonight:
What if I move to the grade I’m meant to be in?
What if I’m exactly what these children need?
What if my life and the lives I touch are changed forever?
What if God is pushing me and challenging me in ways I never imagined?
What if I love my new position?
What if these children get to experience new opportunities because of me?
Basically.. what if I fly?
I know God’s plans are better than any of my own. And I know he wants to see us all fly.