I posted a few weeks ago about some of the questions Mike and I got when we first announced we were going to pursue fostering. Since then, we’ve gotten a lot more. We can’t express how much we appreciate the comments, phone calls, emails, texts, etc. It’s amazing to me how interested people are – and I’ve been shocked to hear that lots of people we know and love have either been involved in the foster care system or hope to be one day. So again, thank you for all your support! And here are some answers to all that you’ve asked:
How long will each child stay with you?
We don’t know. It will vary case to case. We have heard stories of families that have had placements as short as a week to placements that ended up staying for years (or forever). It really just depends.
How much will you know about each child?
I don’t know the answer to this question either. Again, I think it will vary case to case. However, I will say that whatever we do know is confidential. Our future foster children’s stories belong to them and not us. We will never give details about why these children are in our care, their biological parents, their history, etc. Those are not our stories to share.
Tell me the truth.. are you hoping to adopt?
Like I stated in one of my previous posts, the foster care system is not about adoption. The goal is reunification of families. We are beginning this journey with that mindset and we want to stay focused on that. Yes, everyone knows I hope to adopt one day. I’ve always talked about adopting from Africa, and if that’s where God leads then we will pursue that. Right now we feel called to foster and we are going to be faithful in that. If we have a placement that’s case changes to adoption, of course we will consider it. We want to grow our family however God intends us to. But right now, we are most excited about reuniting families.
Are you going to still have biological kids?
Yes? Maybe? One day? This is a hard question for me. A lot of you know that my answer changes to that all the time. In the past when people asked me when Mike and I were going to try my answer would vary anywhere from 1-5 years. The soonest we were ever planning on even talking about trying was going to be after 2 years of marriage (which hasn’t happened yet, by the way). Biological children is on the backburner for us now. The answer is YES we are definitely going to try to have biological children one day. Everyone knows I have a weird obsession with pregnancy and I am hoping to one day experience that. However, I can’t say yes or no we definitely are or aren’t, because that’s not up to us. We are just going to have to see how everything plays out!
Do you have a preference of what children you’ll receive?
I think I may have answered this question in my first post, so sorry if I am being repetitive. Right now, we are planning on accepting up to 2 children ages 0-3. We decided to go younger (we first thought 0-5), and we want to accept up to 2 because there is a large amount of sibling groups in the system. This does not mean we will always have 2 children with us within those ages. Whenever a placement is available and we have the space in our home, we will get a phone call. We will get whatever information they have about the child or children and we will have the opportunity to say yes or no. Even if we say we only want up to 2, they could call us about a sibling group of 3.
How will you not get attached? How will you give them up?
We plan on getting attached. That is what these children need.. and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Foster parenting is not about children just having a bed to sleep in. It’s about being a family, providing a safe place, being consistent, loving, growing, learning together.. everything that comes with raising a child. These children will be loved and cherished and we will consider them our own. When the time comes for these children to be reunited with their parents, we will celebrate. And we will grieve. And we will heal. God is so much bigger than any emotions we have that we feel might break us.
What do you need?
SO many people have asked this and we are in awe of your kind hearts and generosity. Right now, we are just starting to get rooms ready. We are praying this is not too premature – because we definitely aren’t licensed yet – but were told that many people begin doing this when they are signed up for training. The two spare bedrooms we have are being converted into a toddler room and a nursery. Thankfully, we already have all the furniture we need for both. Our goal for the next few weeks is to start collecting clothes for newborns – 3 years old. A lot of people I’ve talked to have bins for each age group and keep them organized by season, size, gender, etc. So if you know of anyone getting trying to sell some clothes at a reasonable price – please send them our way! Other than that, we haven’t really started figuring out what else we need. I mean, we know we need things, but we are trying to get through our list one big item at a time and right now it’s clothing.
How can we support you?
Similar the last question, and again we are so grateful for that. Right now, we are asking for continued prayers. We want our hearts to be prepared for this journey we are about to go on. We want all of the children in the foster system to have people praying for them daily. This week, I’ve focused on praying for parents that have children in the system. I would love to have people praying for these parents alongside me.
I think that’s all for now! Feel free to ask more questions, if you have them. And thanks for being a part of our journey!